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Journey with Jesse: A Breech Baby

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  When the news of my son's diagnoses became public after he was born, I had many people (mostly people I did not know personally) ask me if I had "known."  "Did you know that he would be born this way?" "Did you expect this for him?" No. No one, including our doctors, had any anticipation that Jesse would suffer a brain injury during his birth that would late result in the loss of his life.  Why? Because I had a wonderful pregnancy with Jesse! I was careful and consistent in my prenatal care. My husband and I value life as precious from the point of conception. We took the health of myself and all of our babies very seriously. At all of my OBGYN appointments, Jesse's heartbeat was strong, his movements were great, my bloodwork was good, and his growth was just as expected with each and every visit. Honestly, Jesse was truly my easiest pregnancy, too.  The other questions I often received were "How?" "How could this have happened in ...
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Journey with Jesse: A Blessed Warrior

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             "Let's start at the very beginning -  a very good place to start."                           - The Sound of Music I had always, always, ALWAYS wanted children. Almost anyone who knows me knows that I have always wanted to be a mother and that I love working with children. (By the way, I am also a teacher by trade.)  To be honest, though, I was trying NOT to get pregnant at the time that I indeed did become pregnant with my third child, Jesse. My husband and I were in a transitional phase of life. We had recently moved, we were in the process of looking for our permanent home, we were scrimping and saving, and I had a 3 year old and a 6 month old at home. I took my birth control pill every day at the exact same time.  As you can imagine, the news that my husband and I were expecting ANOTHER baby left us truly speechless. After our shock wore off, we laughed and ...
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Journey with Jesse: A Letter to YOU

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Dear Reader,  It has been almost 3 years since my son, Jesse, was given to me by birth, and it has been almost 2.5 years since he was taken from me.  When I say "taken," it is more of an expression about how I feel sometimes. I'll explain: For reasons that only God alone can give, my Jesse was taken from this earth and from my arms as he died at 3 months of age. Dear reader, please know that even as I write these words, my heart is genuinely filled with fear on top of my grief. It has taken me a long while to write out my story...his story....and my journey with child loss.  My number one fear is that my experience, although tragic, cannot even compare to others' tragedies. Therefore, please know that I acknowledge that my suffering may be more than some, but it is also certainly not as severe as the suffering of many. This blog is not ever intended to invite sympathy or attention to myself.   My second fear is that my vulnerability (and just so you know...I hat...
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